A: A Douchevag.
Yeah, I know. I'm hilarious. It's no secret I absolutely loathe Ed Hardy. Last month, I done told some loser wearing an Ed Hardy shirt that he was a total tool - yes, alcohol was involved. The poor guy. He was just trying to use the bathroom at the Quick Trip by da club. It's not my fault he thinks a huge obnoxious cat with rhinestone accents on a yellow t-shirt made for men isn't absolutely ridiculous. Seriously dude? You have a cat on your shirt. And rhinestones. You wear your sunglasses inside, don't you?
At any rate, here's what he would buy you if you were his girlfriend. Aw, the douchebag and the douchevag. Together, they would be unstoppable. That is, of course, until they tripped and fell on their ass. Wearing sunglasses in da club is hazardous.
Note: For $152, I'd expect something that at least covers my ass.